There is a place I did not know existed. A place I found through pain. Extensive pain. Not through accepting the pain. But through rebelling against it and not believing it existed. And fighting it. And feeling it. And travelling with it. Over many years.
That place, that horrible place, which you only reach by feeling the rejection, the disbelief, the sadness. A hundred fold. Daily. Very far down the road. But it exists. I found it.
It tells me that the love was not wrong. My expectation of it was.